Do you suffer from Citroenitis?
You are at risk from this debilitating mental condition if you:
a) first thing in the morning before going to the toilet or having a coffee, you open the curtains and look at your Citroen ;
b) look at your Citroen while drinking your first cup of coffee;
c) look at your Citroen while eating your breakfast;
d) use your Citroen for journeys of less than 500m;
e) gesticulate wildly every time you see another Citroen;
f) keep a camera in your glovebox in order to photograph interesting Citroens;
g) are incapable of stringing together a sentence without using the C word;
h) get upset when people call Citroens quirky;
i) turn round and look at your Citroen after you walk away from it;
j) look at your car in the office car park more than once a day;
k) try and park next to other Citroens;
l) buy motoring magazines if they have more than one paragraph devoted to Citroens;
m) watch programmes on TV only because they feature Citroens;
n) your partner yawns every time you mention Citroen;
o) check on your Citroen last thing at night;
p) threaten birds with mutilation when they defecate on your Citroen;
q) threaten cats with mutilation when they leave footprints on your Citroen;
r) dream about Citroens;
s) all your bookmarks/favorites are Citroen sites;
t) check the official Citroen sites for news more than once a month;
u) suffer nausea and disorientation when obliged to ride in another make of car;
v) your Will states that the hearse used in your funeral must be a Citroen;
w) get excited by the sight of chevrons;
x) wake up during the night to check on your Citroen;
y) are incapable of writing an e-mail without using the C word; and
z) people send you e-mails suggesting you suffer from Citroenitis.