Do you suffer from Citroënitis?

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Aug 312011

Do you suffer from Citroenitis?

You are at risk from this debilitating mental condition if you:

a) first thing in the morning before going to the toilet or having a coffee, you open the curtains and look at your Citroen ;

b) look at your Citroen while drinking your first cup of coffee;

c) look at your Citroen while eating your breakfast;

d) use your Citroen for journeys of less than 500m;

e) gesticulate wildly every time you see another Citroen;

f) keep a camera in your glovebox in order to photograph interesting Citroens;

g) are incapable of stringing together a sentence without using the C word;

h) get upset when people call Citroens quirky;

i) turn round and look at your Citroen after you walk away from it;

j) look at your car in the office car park more than once a day;

k) try and park next to other Citroens;

l) buy motoring magazines if they have more than one paragraph devoted to Citroens;

m) watch programmes on TV only because they feature Citroens;

n) your partner yawns every time you mention Citroen;

o) check on your Citroen last thing at night;

p) threaten birds with mutilation when they defecate on your Citroen;

q) threaten cats with mutilation when they leave footprints on your Citroen;

r) dream about Citroens;

s) all your bookmarks/favorites are Citroen sites;

t) check the official Citroen sites for news more than once a month;

u) suffer nausea and disorientation when obliged to ride in another make of car;

v) your Will states that the hearse used in your funeral must be a Citroen;

w) get excited by the sight of chevrons;

x) wake up during the night to check on your Citroen;

y) are incapable of writing an e-mail without using the C word; and

z) people send you e-mails suggesting you suffer from Citroenitis.